One Quarter Down, Three To Go...

Is it possible that I actually am done with the first quarter of my first year as an official teacher? It sure doesn't feel like it...the stack of 'to be graded' and 'to be entered' student work I have been hauling around hither and yon in my teacher tote is a daily reminder that I do not, in fact, have it as 'together' as I would like. Let's just say, purchasing the complete series of Sex and the City on DVD was a good idea in theory, but it hasn't done much to bolster my work ethic. When I leave school with my bag-o-papers, with the best intentions of spending the evening grading like a fiend, all of that motivation disperses as soon as I hit my doorstep. At that point, all I want to do is put on my sweats and fluffy robe, brew a hot mug of Starbucks Via, and curl up with Carrie and the girls. This lifestyle choice is going to come back and bite me in the butt sooner rather than later, of this I am sure. My tendencies toward procrastination have only been magnified since graduating from college, it would seem. I work my tail off in my classroom every day, just trying to stay a step ahead of my students. There are days when I close the door behind them feeling like I am God's gift to the teaching profession, and there are other days when I feel like Roman the Poodle could have taught the lesson more effectively. Lately, it seems like the latter, more often than not. I am starting to get bogged down with all the minutiae like toggling and test scores and intervention plans and standards and proficient vs. not and on and on and on...and suddenly I am the one feeling less than proficient!

We have this upcoming week off of school for teacher in-service. We will travel to Unalakleet tomorrow and stay until Thursday, then we will return to Stebbins and work here on Friday. It will be nice to have a week to sort of 're-set' myself as best I can, though at this point not only do I have weeks of work to get caught up on, I have weeks yet to plan. So while this break that isn't really a break will be a not unwelcome respite from my darling chicklins, I am still stressed to the max and looking for any excuse to crawl back in bed with my chocolate and my coffee and my escapist television.

I apologize to those of you who came looking for adventure and excitement on this page and found this instead...but if I can't vent on my own blog, where can I? I still love my job, I just don't love the way I am doing it right now. This one's on me...I need to seriously kick myself in the butt, or hire someone else to kick me, instead of waiting to hit that inevitable procrastination wall like I always do, where I have the motivation but I don't have the time. Someone please save me from myself!

The sun is out again today but it is freezing cold and the wind is howling. It seems appropriately tundra-esque, all things considered. Love and stressed out, chocolate covered kisses from your girl here in Alaska (and big, hairy, poodle smooches from Ro) - -

XOXOjane