Tomorrow is my last day here at the ranch. I cannot believe how the time has flown. It's been a strange summer, to say the least...irritatingly unpredictable. For someone who craves routine and structure, it has certainly been trying at times. Add in the emotional roller-coaster of a hasty summer romance which has left me with more questions than answers, and it becomes more and more apparent that my departure to Alaska in two short weeks may be nothing short of theraputic. I need something I can throw myself into headlong, which will consume my mind and body thoroughly enough to cleanse any outlying "what ifs" from my system. Between a cataclysmic move and beginning my first official year as a full-time teacher, I think that pretty much covers all the bases.
As I reflect on the past two months, now that I am nearly on the eve of my departure, I am able to recognize the time I've spent here as a time of needed introspection and personal growth. Also, it has been a forced detachment from my family and familiar surroundings which, although not quite as extreme, will certainly prepare me for what is to come in the not-so-distant future.
Bittersweet as much of my personal growth and learning has been this summer, when I view it in full I am left with a feeling of accomplishment. I put myself out and took risks like I never have before. Sometimes I landed on my feet, sometimes I fell flat on the ground, and sometimes I was left unsure about what was up and what was down. But despite the outcome, through each new experience I have gained a greater sense of self and an enhanced confidence in who I am and what I am capable of doing.
I'm not quite sure what tomorrow will bring, or the day after that, or the week after that, or what my life will be like just one month from now, but I do know there is one thing I can count on: when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will still be me, and I am happy about that.
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